A Zombie Apocalypse? Ignore it at Your Peril.

If you put your ear to bunker doors across the nation in the quiet before the dawn of the apoc­a­lypse, you will hear a fer­vent mantra whis­pered by many diehard sur­vival­ists as they pol­ish the bar­rels of their pump-action shot­guns just one last time.

Please let there be zom­bies. Please let there be zombies.”

Since their first appear­ance in mod­ern form in George A. Romero’s 1978 film Dawn of the Dead, zom­bies have eaten their way into our hearts and minds to become pop cul­ture icons. Dis­miss zom­bies from the dooms­day equa­tion at your peril. If life teaches us any­thing, it is that you should expect the unex­pected. And as there are few apoc­a­lypse sce­nar­ios more unex­pected than zom­bies, this may be the one to place your bets on, even at astro­nom­i­cal odds. It would be a fool indeed who does not, at very least, have a con­tin­gency plan in place to deal with an undead world. Heaven help those who sneer at the thought of a zom­bie apoc­a­lypse, for they will invari­ably be the first ones clasp­ing their entrails as they try and drag them­selves away from a rav­en­ous horde of liv­ing
dead on Z-Day.

Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

There are a few things that you prob­a­bly need to know to avoid becom­ing a mobile Happy Meal.

Don’t Panic

Of all the pos­si­ble apoc­a­lypse sce­nar­ios, zom­bies are, at least ini­tially, one of the least dra­matic. The chances of you actu­ally see­ing a zom­bie on D-Day is quite remote. The most you would be likely see is the tail-end of a tele­vi­sion news report of a bizarre mur­der some­where in the Alaskan tun­dra or an SMS from a friend direct­ing you to some shaky YouTube cell phone footage that “just has to be a hoax.” But don’t let the lack of fan­fare fool you. A zom­bie apoc­a­lypse may have a slow start, but it will soon snow­ball into a
gorefest that will leave the major­ity of human­ity as walk­ing left­overs in just a few short weeks.

While the first media broad­casts of peo­ple being eaten alive in the streets will be greeted with skep­ti­cal dis­be­lief by most, con­sider it a sign to imme­di­ately imple­ment your sur­vival plan. Time is still on your side. You have up to twenty-four hours in which to escape to your rural retreat or moun­tain refuge before the roads from the cities are choked with those flee­ing the undead hordes.

Although it will, at times, be dif­fi­cult to believe a zom­bie apoc­a­lypse is actu­ally hap­pen­ing, the sooner you accept the real­ity of the sit­u­a­tion, the greater your chances of sur­vival. You may not be at ground zero on Z-Day, but how you react on the first day will deter­mine if you still have all your body parts by the end of the week.

Know Your Enemy

It is impos­si­ble to know the exact nature of the zom­bie threat prior to the apoc­a­lypse. But one thing is for sure: They won’t be run­ning. Pop­u­lar though the fast so-called zom­bies of recent cel­lu­loid fea­tures may be, real zom­bies are slow. Think about it. Death is the
ulti­mate inhibitor. If one comes back from death, one is hardly likely to be imbued with super­pow­ers. You would be a mere shadow of your for­mer self. Zom­bies sham­ble, shuf­fle and stag­ger; they don’t sprint, vault over aban­doned cars or launch chore­o­graphed
attacks that look more like the New York City Marathon.

You can eas­ily side­step a zom­bie. Run rings around one if you like. But it’s the moment that you become over­con­fi­dent and let down your guard that you will feel the shat­tered teeth of some leg­less ghoul latch­ing onto your ankle.

Zom­bies should never be under­es­ti­mated. They are relent­less, mer­ci­less and almost unstoppable.

Pick Them Off From a Distance

Pro­jec­tile weapons, such as bows and arrows, guns, RPGs and even nuclear mis­siles were invented for a rea­son: to put as much dis­tance between you and your adver­sary as pos­si­ble, while still inflict­ing a mor­tal wound. The closer you are to your enemy, the greater the chance that they can inflict an injury on you. Close-order com­bat with zom­bies should only be engaged in as a last resort; it poses sig­nif­i­cant risks to your safety. But some­times, there will sim­ply be no avoid­ing it. You will just have to get your hands dirty.

Although an assort­ment of hand­held weapons have been used with spec­tac­u­lar results in many Hol­ly­wood movies, in real­ity, using blud­geons, such as base­ball bats and gar­den­ing tools, is fraught with poten­tial dan­gers and should only be con­sid­ered when there are no other options.

A zom­bie does not need to take a bite out your left arm to con­t­a­m­i­nate you. The facts are that the zom­bie virus is trans­mit­ted through body flu­ids. Any­body slic­ing a zom­bie in two with a chain­saw or impal­ing one with a fence post is likely to be drenched in infected gore. It only takes one drop of blood or other body flu­ids for you to join the legion of undead.

Even with a hand­gun, the chances of you hit­ting a small, mov­ing tar­get, such as a zombie’s head, is very low. At close range (less than three yards), trained pro­fes­sion­als, such as police offi­cers, have less than a forty per­cent chance of hit­ting their tar­get
in a field situation.

Play it safe. Pick them off from a distance.

Keep Quiet

Noise attracts zom­bies. Need I say more?

Wear Pro­tec­tive Clothing

That small scratch on the back of your hand you got while for­ag­ing for food in a dimly lit super­mar­ket but never got round to putting a bandaid on could be more of a threat to what’s left of your life than you may first think. You don’t have to have your left leg
unex­pect­edly gnawed off by a zom­bie postal worker to become infected. Any cut or abra­sion can be an access point for infec­tion. Also, scream­ing for divine assis­tance as you plunge your 11-in. Stan­ley screw­driver into a zombie’s vacant eye socket may not be
as good an idea as it seems at the time. Infected blood or brain tis­sue spray­ing into your open mouth or eyes could see you join­ing the ranks of the undead before the weekend.

It is of vital impor­tance that you be appro­pri­ately attired before engag­ing in any melee with the liv­ing dead. This includes full face pro­tec­tion, such as a handyman’s face shield or gog­gles and a sur­gi­cal mask. Although you may look more like an abat­toir worker than a hired assas­sin, at least you won’t have to worry about wak­ing
up to find your­self dead the next morning.

Never Turn Your Back

It goes with­out say­ing that you can never assume a zom­bie is “dead” just because it is down for the count. Zom­bies have a nasty habit of lurch­ing to their feet again when you least expect it, even if you have pumped a cou­ple of quick rounds into their cra­nium. Bul­lets are strange things and can often be harm­lessly deflected by skull bone, leav­ing a zombie’s grey mat­ter fully intact.

Zom­bies have the remark­able abil­ity to keep going despite drop­ping body parts like the leaves of autumn. It is pru­dent to give even fully dis­mem­bered zom­bies (think, Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail) a wide berth, as they are some­times capa­ble of rolling like tum­ble weeds to sav­age their prey.

Also, bear in mind that, in cer­tain sit­u­a­tions, it can be quite dif­fi­cult to dis­tin­guish between the liv­ing and the liv­ing dead. Those dearly departed, who have not long joined the ranks of the undead, may dis­play few out­ward signs of decom­po­si­tion. You can­not assume that the awk­ward gait and gorm­less expres­sion on the face of the guy from apart­ment 101 means that he is a zom­bie. If in doubt, take eva­sive action.

Aim For the Head

When it comes to zom­bies, any­thing less than a head shot is a waste of valu­able time and effort. Dis­pense with your clas­sic “two to the cen­ter mass, one to the head” rou­tine. “Dou­ble taps” or “ham­mered pairs” to the head are what counts; any­thing else is
just win­dow dressing.

Over­come Your Squeamishness

The post-apocalyptic world of the undead is not for the squea­mish. The sooner you over­come your nat­ural aver­sion blood and guts, the sooner you will be able to take the new world order in your stride and carve a niche for yourself.

Posted in Zombies | 2 Comments

Bunkers Galore …

While brows­ing the National Geo­graphic web­site recently I came across a link to Jonathan Andrew’s impres­sive land­scape pho­tog­ra­phy port­fo­lio which fea­tures a few bunker pic­tures. They may not be all that suit­able for dooms­day accom­mo­da­tion, but are worth view­ing nonetheless.

See more here

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Is this a dagger I see before me? 5 things to remember when choosing a knife for doomsday.

The impor­tance of hav­ing good qual­ity sur­vival gear is never more impor­tant than when fac­ing the rig­ors of the apoc­a­lypse. This is par­tic­u­larly true of the hum­ble knife. Since the very dawn of human inge­nu­ity, mankind has been sharp­en­ing imple­ments to carve a place for him­self in a world that would see him destroyed. Flint blades were as impor­tant to Pale­olithic man as cell phones are to Cyber­lithic man. Some­day, when the tables are inevitably turned and we again find our­selves fight­ing tooth and nail for our very exis­tence, a good knife will never be far from the hand of all those who pre­vail in the post-apocalyptic world.

A knife is the most fun­da­men­tal and ver­sa­tile of tools. It is equally at home shav­ing the stub­ble from a solar flare-ravaged chin, open­ing that last can of fruit from the back shelf of your bunker sup­ply store or sev­er­ing the arm of the mutant hill­billy that is clutch­ing your left leg. Whether you use a knife in your domes­tic bomb-shelter sit­u­a­tion or in hand-to-hand com­bat, here are a few points to consider.

1) All dressed up and nowhere to go

It is bet­ter to have a knife and not use it than to need a knife and not have one. While you may have lit­tle need of a survival/combat/hunting knife in your present sit­u­a­tion, there may come a time when your sur­vival will depend on it. You may be called upon to use a knife to per­form all man­ner of unsa­vory tasks and it is vital that you over­come any psy­cho­log­i­cal bar­ri­ers you may have sooner, rather than later. Just as few now leave home with­out your cell phone, in the dark post-apocalyptic world strap­ping on your knife must become sec­ond nature. Don’t leave home with­out one.

2) Size isn’t everything

As so often said, it is not how big your weapon is, but how you use it. Your knife need not be as large as a bay­o­net to be effec­tive. In fact, large knives, although intim­i­dat­ing for an assailant, may be some­what unwieldy for the mul­ti­tude of uses they will be put to in your day-to-day life. Keep your blade length to 6 inches or less.

3) There’s no sub­sti­tute of quality

It has been said that there never was a good knife made from bad steel. It is imper­a­tive that you secure a qual­ity blade. Cheap imports just won’t cut it in the do-or-die post-apocalyptic world. Your blade must be of qual­ity mate­ri­als and con­struc­tion, able to with­stand the con­sid­er­able demands of daily use. A blade that soon loses it edge or snaps at an inop­por­tune moment may put not only you, but those that depend on you at risk.

4) Keep it sim­ple, stupid

While multi-purpose knives bristling with numer­ous attach­ments may have their place, it is impor­tant that your pri­mary knife is sturdy, reli­able and sim­ple. A sin­gle cut­ting edge is all you need, with some ser­ra­tion tossed in some­where for good mea­sure. Leave the flam­boy­ant knife designed as ‘tool kit in your pocket’ for show-and-tell. A sin­gle will suffice.

5) No time like the present

Don’t wait for the post-apocalypse rush for cold steel. Secure your knife now. Not only will qual­ity knives be in short sup­ply after dooms­day, but it always pays to famil­iar­ize your­self with using poten­tially dan­ger­ous tools well before you need to use them in the field. As with most tools, prac­tice makes per­fect. You need not be as handy with a blade as John Locke (Lost), but being able to han­dle one with­out injur­ing your­self is imper­a­tive. In a post-apocalyptic world devoid of antibi­otics and spe­cial­ist sur­geons, even small cuts can result in your untimely demise.

And always remem­ber, as the song says, make the first cut the deepest.

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Delighted to meet you…

Isn’t it inter­est­ing how the high and mighty so read­ily rub shoul­ders with tin-pot dic­ta­tors one moment and drop bombs on them the next. Don’t you think it would be emi­nently more sen­si­ble to use offi­cial meet-and-greet ses­sions for pre-emptive strikes? A strate­gic knee to the groin or unex­pected upper-cut would cer­tainly catch these bottom-feeders off-guard. A hes­s­ian bag over the head and uncer­e­mo­ni­ously bundling them into the back of a wait­ing vehi­cle would save every­one such a lot of trou­ble. Sure it would ruf­fle a few diplo­matic feath­ers, but con­sid­er­ing the alter­na­tive, wouldn’t it be best for all con­cerned. With each cruise mis­sile cost­ing in the vicin­ity of $600,000.00, how much would it cost to nab these nar­cis­sis­tic jerks on these occa­sions? Noth­ing. But the plea­sure it would bring … priceless.

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The Coming Solar Storm

If you thought the radi­a­tion dan­gers in Japan of late are a con­cern, then you may wish to con­sider the haz­ards posed by a thermo-nuclear reac­tor a mil­lion times larger than the earth – the sun. Apart from the threats of skin can­cer due to over-exposure, we may in the near future have to con­tend with solar storms that could rel­e­gate our very way of life to the annu­als of history.

Just before mid­day on Sep­tem­ber 1, 1859, the emi­nent British astronomer Richard Car­ring­ton observed an enor­mous solar flare on the sur­face of the sun. Erupt­ing from a sunspot aimed directly at the earth, a mas­sive cloud of mag­net­i­cally charged plasma, called a coro­nal mass ejec­tion (CME), swept 91 mil­lion miles (146 mil­lion km) between the sun and our planet in less than eigh­teen hours (it usu­ally takes three or four days).

As the super­charged par­ti­cles washed over our planet, they cre­ated the largest geo­mag­netic storm in recorded his­tory. Skies around the globe erupted in spec­tac­u­lar dis­plays of red, pur­ple and green auro­ras, so bright in some places that news­pa­pers could be read at mid­night. Auro­ras, usu­ally only seen at the poles, were even vis­i­ble from trop­i­cal lat­i­tudes over such places as Hawaii and the Caribbean.

Most alarm­ing was the solar storm’s impact on the only tech­nol­ogy vul­ner­a­ble to power surges at the time. The tele­graph sys­tem was dis­rupted world­wide, with some tele­graph oper­a­tors being shocked by elec­tri­cal dis­charges and, in some cases, tele­graph paper burst­ing into flames.

Ice core sam­ples, mea­sur­ing high-energy pro­ton radi­a­tion, reveal evi­dence that events of this mag­ni­tude occur approx­i­mately once every five hun­dred years, with lesser events occur­ring sev­eral times per cen­tury. Less severe storms have occurred in 1921 and 1960, when wide­spread radio dis­rup­tion was reported. In March, 1989 a mag­netic storm resulted in the Que­bec power-grid going down for 9 hours, leav­ing more than nine mil­lion Cana­di­ans with­out power.

While dam­age from the 1859 solar storm was not great, our mod­ern soci­ety is now sig­nif­i­cantly more vul­ner­a­ble to solar activ­ity since it is so heav­ily depen­dent on technology.

2012 marks the peak of the sun’s eleven-year solar cycle. Sci­en­tists at the National Cen­ter for Atmos­pheric Research (NCAR) have pre­dicted it could mark the most intense solar max­i­mum in 50 years. With the poten­tial to knock out power grids, fry satel­lites to a crisp and bring down global com­mu­ni­ca­tions and nav­i­ga­tions sys­tems, the com­ing solar storms could prove cat­a­clysmic to our technology-driven soci­ety. We would effec­tively be turn­ing back our lifestyle clock by one hun­dred years. Imag­ine the after­math of Hur­ri­cane Kat­rina, world­wide, for months or even years. With no bank­ing, elec­tric gas pumps, oil refiner­ies, trans­porta­tion, refrig­er­a­tion, news reports, sewage dis­posal, tap water, phone ser­vices, Inter­net or super­mar­ket gro­cery shop­ping, how long would it be before all hell broke loose on the streets? Three days with­out power and the natives get rest­less; three weeks and it’s Lord of the Flies all over again. It may be time to start bat­ten­ing the hatches.

More here

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Pick the Android…

She’s’ the one in the mid­dle. The metal­lic legs are a giveaway.

With advances in tech­nol­ogy, androids will be increas­ingly more dif­fi­cult to iden­tify, par­tic­u­larly from a dis­tance. This Japan­ese HRP-4C model will, in the future, seem as advances a the 70’s video game ‘Pong’ looks to us now.

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Post-Apocalyptic Cannibalism

If recent Hol­ly­wood films (i.e. The Road, The Book of Eli) are any­thing to go by, then we may be fac­ing more than just the hor­rors of no wire­less con­nec­tion in the post-apocalyptic world. We may lit­er­ally find our­selves in the prover­bial stew if we fail to take a few com­mon sense precautions.

Human­ity has a long and igno­ble his­tory of eat­ing other sen­tient crea­tures on our planet. In fact, there are few things off lim­its to the adven­tur­ous gas­tro­naut. Yet, in today’s polite soci­ety, the line seems to be firmly drawn at mem­bers of our own species. If the psy­cho­log­i­cal and cul­tural inhi­bi­tions we have for eat­ing our neigh­bors are over­come, then every­one you pass on the street becomes a ver­i­ta­ble fast-food outlet.

In a time of post-nuclear famine, not every­one can afford the lux­ury of being picky when it comes to their dietary habits. When faced with sift­ing through ash-covered fields for bee­tle lar­vae or the odd wiz­ened root, species prej­u­dice may soon wear a lit­tle thin and a freshly carved and mar­i­nated human round steak, served with a zesty road­side salad, may start to look a lit­tle more appeal­ing. It is impor­tant to remem­ber that most can­ni­bals are peo­ple just like you, only they have a dif­fer­ent culi­nary ethic.

If can­ni­bals of neces­sity are a bit hard to stom­ach, then you may def­i­nitely have bit­ten off more than you can chew if you meet a can­ni­bal of ide­ol­ogy. Although much rarer, those who are can­ni­bals by philo­soph­i­cal choice can present a for­mi­da­ble obsta­cle to keep­ing all your bits and pieces firmly intact. What bet­ter way of demon­strat­ing your dom­i­nance over your enemy than eat­ing them? It rep­re­sents the high­est vin­di­ca­tion of Darwin’s “sur­vival of the fittest.” Defeat­ing your adver­sary with a sword is one thing, but to van­quish your enemy with a knife and fork is quite another.

Posted in Cannibalism | Tagged | 2 Comments

You Can Never Be Too Careful…

With all the con­cerns in Japan over radi­a­tion con­t­a­m­i­na­tion at the moment, I was brows­ing YouTube and came across this 1950’s nuclear attack edu­ca­tional film. With delu­sional dic­ta­tors like Kim Jong-il still run­ning amok in the pri­ma­tive back-waters of our planet, you just never know when these gems of infor­ma­tion may come in handy.

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A Glowing Review…

Here is a glow­ing review on Ama­zon of my 2012 Dooms­day book; and no the author isn’t a friend/relative, or on the payroll.

CAN YOU SURVIVETHE END?” And if you do…what then?, March 14, 2011, Don Blankenship.

Finally we have a “do it your­self book” that is worth the paper it is writ­ten on! After months, indeed years of worry and fret­ting about the “End Times,” the total or near destruc­tion of earth, the end of civ­i­liza­tion and such stuff as that, I have found here a book that is truly helpful!

Ask your­self what you are going to do if a mas­sive aster­oid hits earth. What hap­pens if the polar ice caps should sud­denly melt? What if we are invaded by aliens from another galaxy? What if we suf­fer a take-over by hoards of mind dead zom­bies? What if a plague kills off 99 per­cent of mankind? What if the Mayan leg­end is true and our time is up on Decem­ber 21, 2012?

Oh what to do, what to do?

Well W.H. Mum­frey has given us excel­lent answers here …

Read the com­plete review here

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6 Things to Remember When Facing a Tsunami

Sur­viv­ing a tsunami is basi­cally a mat­ter of chance. The odds of sur­viv­ing one are greatly enhanced by being in an ele­vated posi­tion or even bet­ter, nowhere near it. But if you are, then here are a few things to keep in mind.

1) Head for the Hills

Mega-tsunamis could travel at least 20 miles (30 km) or more inland depend­ing on the local topog­ra­phy and the size of the wave. To be safe, you need to be as far away from the coast as pos­si­ble, prefer­ably in an ele­vated posi­tion. Don’t leave your evac­u­a­tion to the last moment. When the sirens start sound­ing, it will be too late. Every man and his dog will be throw­ing a box of valu­ables into the back of the sedan and hit­ting the road. There will be lit­tle chance of you get­ting clear in time even if the roads were empty, let alone grid­locked with horn-sounding motorists flee­ing an immi­nent dunk­ing. Remem­ber, waves can wash fur­ther up a slope than their actual crest height.

2) Watch for the Sud­den Expo­sure of the Seafloor

Tsunamis may some­times be pre­ceded by what is known as a draw­down, where the ocean sud­denly recedes, leav­ing hap­less beach­go­ers walk­ing on the exposed shal­low sea floor point­ing at flap­ping fish. This is caused by the trough (low­est part of the wave between the crests) of the wave reach­ing the shore before the crest. Be warned: Draw­downs do not always hap­pen; some­times you’ll have no warn­ing. The first thing you’ll see, and quite pos­si­bly the last thing you’ll ever see, will be a foam­ing tower of death break­ing
over your picnic.

3) Faster than a Speed­ing Bullet

Well, maybe not quite that fast, but fast enough for you to for­get about putting on your run­ning shoes. In the open ocean, tsunamis can travel as fast as a jumbo jet (600 mph or 965 kph). Although their speed slows sig­nif­i­cantly in shal­low waters near the coast, by the time you see one, it will be too late. Sound­ing like a freight train from hell, the best you can hope for are a few moments to make your peace with your cho­sen deity.

4) Stay Afloat

If worse comes to worst and you find your­self swept away in one of these wash­ing machines from hell, try to make your way to thesur­face as quickly as pos­si­ble. Apart from drown­ing, most deaths dur­ing a tsunami result from injuries sus­tained from being pum­melled by sub­merged debris. Claw your way to the sur­face and drag
your­self onto any­thing afloat; the big­ger the better.

5) There’s More A’coming

Just like rip­ples on a pond, tsunamis come in sets of three or more waves. The first may not nec­es­sar­ily be the largest. Sur­viv­ing the first wave does not guar­an­tee you are out of dan­ger. Use the time between the arrival of each wave to fur­ther secure your posi­tion
or move to higher ground.

6) Out to Sea

The safest place to be when con­fronted by a tsunami is out to sea. In deep ocean water, a tsunami forms only a small, harm­less swell, gen­er­ally less than 3 feet (1 m) in height;
most of the power of the tsunami is deep beneath the sur­face. It is only as it approaches the shal­low waters of a coast­line that it grows into the ver­ti­cal wall of death so often por­trayed in dis­as­ter films. In the open ocean, tsunamis are barely dis­tin­guish­able from nor­mal, wind-generated waves and will often go unno­ticed by seafarers.

(from The Off­i­cal Under­ground 2012 Dooms­day Sur­vival Hand­book)

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Storm in a tea cup

The Japan­ese tsunami of March 11, tragic though it is, is lit­tle more than a rip­ple in a tea cup com­pared with some of the waves which have pum­melled our shore­lines in ancient history.

The largest wave ever recorded was in the early hours of July 9, 1958 in Lituya Bay, Alaska. Fol­low­ing an earth­quake reg­is­ter­ing almost 8 on the Richter scale, a moun­tain­side col­lapsed into the head­wa­ters of a nar­row fiord. The result­ing wave reached a max­i­mum height of 1,720 ft. (524 m). That’s 266 ft. (81 m) higher than the top of the light­ing rod on the Empire State Build­ing (1,454 ft. /443m). By com­par­i­son, the 2004 Box­ing Day tsunami in Indone­sia reached a peak of pos­si­bly 100 ft. (30 m) in some places but was gen­er­ally less than 30 ft. (10 m) high. Three fish­ing boats were on Lituya Bay at the time. One sank with the loss of two lives, while two oth­ers man­aged to ride the wave to safety, with four survivors.

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